Forgiveness and Repentance

Summer vacation means a few things for me: time to read, and time to think.

I recently finished reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Although I found this book fascinating for many reasons, including the insight it gave me into Afghani culture that I never knew before, it also talks about issues of forgiveness and redemption (whether it actually resolves these issues is another question, but at least it got me thinking about them.) Hosseini writes on p. 360, "...I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night." In a lot of ways, I think he's right. I think that forgiveness isn't a sudden feeling - it's a constant decision to not be bitter, to not harbor grudges, to love a person inspite of what they've done - and at some point, you realize that your words and actions have brought you into a way of thinking.

This also got me thinking about repentance, and I went back and read part of Lauren Winner's Girl Meets God - her thoughts on prayer, repentance and liturgy. It's not about feeling - it's about doing. Emotions (at least my emotions) are a great gift, but they can also be SO deceptive about what is right and wrong. You can feel like you've repented - but then all of the old feelings well up again. Repentance is a decision - a constant turning back to what is right, and mouthing the words, even if you don't feel them at the moment - because it is a decision...not a feeling. Eventually, you have hopefully trained yourself that it won't be as much of a temptation anymore, and becomes less of a conscious decision, and more of an unconscious one.

And THAT is why the liturgy is so important. It leads us through the conversation of worship. The Bible doesn't say to praise God when you feel like it, or repent when you feel like it, or confess your sins only if you feel sorry for them or want to confess them...you NEED to confess them.

So, forgiveness, repentance, liturgy, prayer...things that are decisions that hopefully become habits, and habits in a positive sense of the word. Any other thoughts?